


not entirely present in mind ( but sentimentally, feelings are always the same )

by vakrokyrr



Series: toukomaru week 2021 [4]
Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa Another Episode: Ultra Despair Girls
Genre: Abuse, F/F, Trauma, also touko is drunk for like most of this fic if that bothers u, she's responsible and safe!! but drunk, they are adults here!! and married we love to see it, u know. the usual things that tend to get brought up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-15
Updated: 2021-01-15
Packaged: 2021-03-12 19:46:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28765794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vakrokyrr/pseuds/vakrokyrr
Summary: sometimes it's nice to have a night to themselves.
Relationships: Fukawa Touko/Naegi Komaru
Series: toukomaru week 2021 [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2101881
Comments: 2
Kudos: 42
Collections: Tokomaru Week





	not entirely present in mind ( but sentimentally, feelings are always the same )

**Author's Note:**

> day 4 of tokomaru week!! shopping and night out prompts.
> 
> the warriors of hope get mentioned in the bg as their kids but don't feature heavily in this fic.   
> tws for abuse / trauma mentions, touko is also slightly out of character because she's drunk ( they are both responsible adults and are safe the entire time! )

When you have five kids to look after, it’s rare to for them get a moment to herself. Or a moment with her wife. Much less a night to go out. Well, it’s not like they don’t get to go out with the kids. In fact, she might let them indulge in that perhaps a little _too_ often— or so Touko argues but can’t actually find it in her to say no to. Her point being that they do not get to go out by themselves. That’s usually the case, at least.

Which is why when Touko casually brings up the fact that she finally sealed a deal on her latest manuscript, Komaru uses that as an excuse for them to go out and celebrate. Their anniversary roughly over is a month away anyways, might as well kill two birds with one stone because god knows they will probably be too busy with the kids to actually remember to do much of anything. Not that they really need to, she knows how much they love each other regardless! It’s just fun to have an extra excuse to celebrate.

( And don’t get her wrong: she loves her all five of her kids— most days— she really, really does. And she’s happy she can have the opportunity to raise these kids with her wife, and show both them and her wife what a good, _loving_ family looks like. But it also tires her out to take care of five children, along with her own job, and sometimes they need to take a brief break from it. 

...Okay it’s also because Makoto owes her a favor, and she’s very eager to cash in on that favor by getting her brother to help keep an eye on the kids for one evening. It’ll be fine. The kids love him? )

Touko rolls her eyes at her and tells her that she’s being unnecessarily dramatic about all of this when she informs her of their plans, once she works out the details. But Komaru can see the blush that accompanies this and knows that she’s won her over and considers that her personal victory. The only condition she has is to make sure her brother is not the only one watching the kids, which: yeah, fair enough, five kids was hard enough with _two_ of them; so she just asks Makoto to make sure he’s not the only one watching the kids. 

She knows Touko hates dressing up nice when they go out— she hardly likes dressing up for her own press releases, and those are like actually important events, so she makes sure it's a pretty casual thing. Most of their outings have always tended to be fairly relaxed, and she thinks both of them prefer it that way. The bare minimum of make-up on her face accompanies one of her nicer outfits; which is still a notable effort on her part, but doesn’t make too big of a deal about it.

( She can deduce that Syo probably had a hand in that choice, and just hopes they hadn’t bothered her about it too much. They’re usually good at recognizing limits, and if nothing else, she doesn’t like assuming the worst of their intentions )

Dinner goes well, once she can get Touko to feel less self-concious about herself. Not that it’s a bad thing that she is, it’s not her fault, and she knows she’s trying her best; it’s just more enjoyable when she doesn’t have to worry as much about how she’s feeling. Alright, the glass(es) of wine that she’d had might have also helped with that, but she seems to be handling it pretty well, so she’s not too worried. Even when it became apparent that some of her anxiety had been amplified by the alcohol, but again she seems to be handling it okay. She’s only slightly tipsy...okay, maybe a little more than slightly, but they’re responsible adults. Or, uh, have to be because Masaru won’t take to them being drunk _well_ , and bringing up that trauma is not something she wants to do. And also because technically they’re supposed to grab groceries on the way home. Not exactly the most romantic end to a date night, but sacrifices must be made. 

Now only if Komaru could convince her wife to let go of her long enough for her to go shopping, keeping her voice low as not to disturb her too much. “You could nap off some of the alcohol here in the car while I go shopping?”

“Noooo...” She whines around the bottle of water in her mouth, free hand gripping to her arm like her life depends on it. Komaru can easily pry her off, but she’d rather not do that. “Don’t leave...leave me alone. If I do...you won’t c-come back.”

That melts her heart a little. In like, a sad way; being reminded of her wife’s deep-rooted insecurities is never a nice thing. Komaru taps her wedding ring, which effectively gets her attention after a few minutes. “This is pretty good proof that I’m going to come back, right? But if you don’t feel like sleeping, you can come inside. You think you can handle sitting in the cart?”

“Uh huh. I...can sit fine, d-d-dumbass.” Touko responds in a very unconvincing way, but it does get her to let go at the very least.

“M’kay. Let me get out, so I can help you.”

“Can do...get it myself.” She argues, but also makes no effort to do anything other than sip at her water. For good measure, Komaru grabs a second bottle to slip into her purse; in case she manages to down all of that while they’re inside. She lets her lean against the side of the car while she grabs a cart, and watches her halfway launch herself into a flip to get over the side of the cart. Which was more Syo like behavior, so she figures they might be co-fronting? It wouldn’t be anything she wasn’t used to, but she should probably keep a close eye on them just in case.

“You’re okay?” She asks just to be sure, reaching out to brush the hair out of her face carefully and laughs softly at the way Touko tries to lean into her hand.

“Mhm...I love you.” Her voice is a soft murmur, and yeah it’s not anything she hasn’t heard before, but it still warms her heart to hear. It’s moments like these that make it hard for her to understand why people think so horribly of her. Most people don’t get to see this side of her ( usually, this is more like how she is early in the mornings and late at night, half asleep and vulnerable ) and see how loving she is— scared of loving and being loved. Touko has so much love, she knows the way she loves her and her friends and their kids and knows she is not the person people say she is, that her insecurities make her think she is. Komaru hates knowing all that because she deserves all that love and more, and makes sure she knows it as she presses her lips to the top of her head.

“I love you too! Are you sure you’re up to shopping though? You really don't gotta come with.” If it wasn’t for the fact she knows the kids won’t have breakfast in the morning if she doesn’t go shopping tonight, she’d honestly just call it a night and grab groceries another time.

Though truthfully, shopping with her drunk wife is still less of a hassle than trying to shop with any number of kids. Making sure they stay out of trouble is a chore within itself, and she’s thankful that’s not the case tonight.

“I’m...‘m good. Just go slow..?”

“I can do that.” She beams, even if she thinks that wasn't entirely necessary for her to mention— okay maybe she’s guilty of cart coasting down aisles with her feet off the ground, but that’s just to please the kids. She knows better than to do that with her drunk wife. Probably. She thinks she would realize it is a bad idea to do so ( on account of her getting sick ) before she would actually do so, at least.

Now it’s just a matter of trying to remember where she put their shopping list. It was more convenient to have it typed up on her phone, but it's easier for everyone to add onto if they just leave a notepad specifically for this. Even if on more than one occasion she’s flipped over a shopping list to find several paragraphs of something Touko has no recollection of writing ( that isn’t Syo either ), or realized that Jataro has doodled over half the list without meaning to.

She finally recalls which pocket she’d put it in for safekeeping, and they can get going. Slowly, adding things to the cart...and on top of her wife’s lap. Not that Touko seems to notice, since the next time Komaru checks on her she’s just staring straight up at her, face red. She’s **so** cute? She seems to realize that she’s got her attention, since she reaches up to tug on her sleeve. “Kotoko and Masaru w-wanted fruit snacks, right...? Don’t forget...”

“Already got it, don’t worry. Made sure to grab the vitamins too.” She reassures, a bit impressed that she manages to be that coherent in recalling that, gently prying her hand from her sleeve; holding it in hers for a moment before carefully dropping her hand back down to rest in her lap. She continues shopping in silence, making sure to double-check the list for anything else she might have missed— or at least make sure she’s not missing anything important. 

After a while she has to stop again, when she realizes Touko’s trying to mumble something to her, leaning down to hear her. “Don’t forget the...the fish.” 

Komaru’s brows crinkle in confusion. “Fish? Like, the fish snacks, or...?” She doesn’t have anything on the list that matches that description, nor does she remember the kids bringing up any requests along those lines.

“N-Noooo...” She starts to shake her head and then immediately looks like she regrets that choice. “Like, like the ones that go in a tank. Like the kids asked.”

It takes Komaru a minute to figure out what she’s trying to get at, and bites back a snort. “That’s not something we can get at the supermarket. Or that we’re taking care of tonight.”

( To elaborate: the kids recently brought up the prospect of having a pet. With varying degrees of effectiveness. To which they’d said they’d think about, mostly because again, they have their hands full with their kids as it is— but also on the basis that five kids do not agree on any one thing easily, and she can only imagine how much it will take them to agree on one pet. Komaru thinks it’s cute that even while drunk, she manages to be mindful of the kids )

“Oh. Thank fucking god.” She mutters. “I don’t want to be a mother this young.”

This one she has to laugh at, because there’s no way she can stifle herself this time: mostly because, while the implication might seem bad, she knows that’s far from what’s probably happening here ( not consciously, at any rate, she knows she’d had more than her fair share of concerns when the topic of adopting the kids had came up ). “Sweetheart, we are already parents...?”

“Oh...” Touko says, drunken awe in her expression, like this hadn’t occurred to her. “I g-g-guess you’re right...not the same.”

Komaru pats her gently, a smile curling at her lips. She’s curious about what she means by that, but she’ll leave that for another time. “Mhm, sure. Let’s get going, okay?” 

There’s nothing inherently romantic about ending a date night by taking care of her drunk wife while doing grocery shopping, but it’s still a nice end to a good night— even if they both end up forgoing doing anything further that night, and just go straight to bed once they get home.


End file.
